Hosts’ experience
Thank you to the 14 hosts who came to share their experience over some tea and cake.
The session was invaluable in helping us understand their motivations, the things that they overcame and the solutions they found.
The hosts had been able to provide a range of homes: terraced houses, single rooms, en-suite living spaces and in a few cases an annexe. Sharing kitchens, bathrooms and living spaces was possible and what mattered most was empathy and understanding. Guests were frequently very sensitive to their hosts and respectful of their time and need for space.
Hosts wanted to help others facing a dreadful situation, wanted to right the wrong of the war and had sometimes been frustrated that their offer was not taken up as quickly as it could have been. Many wanted to fill ‘an empty nest’ or make better use of their time and home.
The hosts were unanimous in their view that hosting had been an enriching experience. It had brought new friendships, companionship, food and customs into their lives. It had been an excuse to take extra trips, learn more about our area and enjoy experiences like Kyiv City Ballet. It had also been very, very fulfilling to give something back.
We have all learnt about the difference in services between Ukraine and the UK. In Ukraine public transport is ubiquitous and reliable and visiting a doctor or dentist not a problem. In the UK the support of the Local Authority is full and reliable and the support of schools exemplary. It has however been empowering, for guests and hosts to tackle issues of klonky services and systems in the UK.
Shaftesbury Refugee Group wants to be ready to support the next hosts, those needed to provide a safe place in North Dorset for the 27 people waiting in Ukraine and the 47 undergoing re-matching.
With new hosts in mind we had some great ideas to implement and think about:
Create a list, in the right order, of the tasks that are needed to register a guest that will give them access to services.
Helping induct new guests with the support of current guests would be useful.
Open up a friendship before meeting your guests using texts and video meetings.
Be aware of the journey to the hosting and the challenges that will have left a mark on the guests, as trauma.
At the moment of host selection, assess not only the suitability of the host and home but also the availability of local services such as schools and transport. It is OK to think about ‘best fit’. A lone teenager with an elderly couple may not be a good fit, or it could be ideal.
It helps for guests to help and feel they are contributing but it is hard to get this right without them feeling put upon. ‘How would you like to help?’, is a good question.
Help Ukrainian guests meet up with their peers as has happened with the SRG events.
Work on ownership of the new living space. Sometimes it is not best to completely equip the home, people like to make their own chances.
Work up the conventions for home living and be explicit about household things, such as waste sorting and recycling, sharing food, helping in the garden, best times to do and dry washing, as you might with AirBandB and make these easy with some labelling. Don’t hesitate to make a list of house rules, but work it up with your guests’ involvement.
A list of local services is useful. Bus times, surgery times, local shops selling Eastern European food. As is a map.
We are all different but its useful to describe who we are so the set up is known. e.g. dietary habits, pets, times when kitchen is in use, working from home etc
Think carefully about independence and responsibility. What you might have decided for your children, may not be what a Ukrainian mother chooses for her child: e.g. when to see a doctor about a cold or have a day off school.
Build independence by helping guests gain the skills and tools, for example learning to drive, handling Universal Credit app etc.
There are also some wider issues that we will advocate for with Ukraine Response and Dorset Council:
Support guests with employment that is suitable for their qualifications.
We thanked the hosts for their time on this morning, to Sara for loaning her lovely home and meeting space and the cake makers; Nicola, Roz and Julia.
Lastly we thanked the hosts for their help with the war against Ukraine, which for some has extended to almost two years. This invaluable life experience will be thought of by their guests for years to come. Thank you all!
